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IAN HOLLOWAY - IN HIS OWN WORDS

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Born: Bristol – March 1963

Clubs played for: Bristol Rovers, Wimbledon, Brentford, Torquay Utd (loan), QPR.

Clubs managed: Bristol Rovers, QPR, Plymouth Argyle, Leicester City, Blackpool, Palace.

Career appearances: 671

Career goals: 58

His best quotes over the years: "To put it in gentleman's terms, if you've been out for a night and you're looking for a young lady and you pull one, you've done what you set out to do. We didn't look our best today but we've pulled. Some weeks the lady is good looking and some weeks they're not. Our performance today would have been not the best looking bird but at least we got her in the taxi. She may not have been the best looking lady we ended up taking home but it was still very pleasant and very nice, so thanks very much and let's have coffee."

"Every dog has its day – and today is woof day! Today I just want to bark."

"I couldn't be more chuffed if I were a badger on the first day of the mating season."

"I watched Arsenal in the Champions League the other week playing some of the best football I've ever seen and yet they couldn't have scored in a brothel with two grand in their pockets!"

"I think the Bosman thing is a pile of donkey dung."

"He's (Cristiano Ronaldo) six-foot something, fit as a flea, good-looking – he's got to have something wrong with him. Hopefully he's hung like a hamster! That would make us all feel better!"

"One minute I was painting the lounge, the next I'm being asked to manage a Championship side. My wife will have to finish the glossing."

"If you're a burglar, it's no good poncing about outside somebody's house, looking good with your swag bag ready. Just get in there, burgle them and come out. I don't advocate that obviously, it's just an analogy."

"In the first half we were like the Dog and Duck, in the second half we were like Real Madrid. We can't go on like that. At full-time I was at them like an irritated Jack Russell."

"I am a football manager. I can't see into the future. Last year I thought I was going to Cornwall on my holidays but I ended up going to Lyme Regis."

"It was lucky that the linesman wasn't stood in front of me as I would have poked him with a stick to make sure he was awake."


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