A 16-YEAR-OLD boy who died of a cardiac arrest three days before Christmas has been remembered as a deep thinker with an amazing humour and a deep love of life.
Paul Herbert, from South Croydon, was born with an abnormally shaped heart and suffered from hypertrophic cardiomyopathy – which can cause breathlessness, palpitations and sudden cardiac arrest – throughout his life.
But Paul's family and friends said he taught them how to always make "something good flourish".
Joyce Cowan, Paul's 19-year-old sister, said: "He had some very grave moments and I think he was a total fighter. He had such a deep love of life and of learning.
"There's a difference between being ill and feeling ill. He was smiley, intelligent, he was a deep thinker. He had an amazing spirit so he was never negative about anything.
"He had a really good, intelligent humour.
"He was smiley but serious at the same time.
"I have lots of memories of us bursting into laughter. You know... when your tummy hurts from laughing so much."
Paul and Joyce moved to Croydon from Argentina five years ago.
Paul was in Year 12 at Thomas More Catholic School studying for physics, history, geography and government and politics AS Levels, having moved from Addington High School in Year 9.
Joyce, who lived with Paul and their mother, said Paul loved school and never let his heart problems hold him back. He played the bass and loved to draw and read. He liked superhero comics, the Hunger Games and Game of Thrones, and had a deep interest in mythology.
"He didn't make excuses for himself, and never let his illness make him feel he was less able or less willing, or with less responsibility, than anyone else," said Joyce.
Joyce said her first memory is of running around with Paul and the pair shared a bond that was "life defining". "I am so fortunate because I wouldn't be the same person without having had him," she said.
"Every birthday I would always write in his card 'thanks to life for you', because it was a wonderful thing and I still feel that.
"Despite what has happened I still feel thankful that life showed me such a person. All the family feel like that."
Joyce, who is a first-year history student at Kings College London, and Paul used to enjoy watching Family Guy and Horrible Histories together and listening to Nirvana.
The family own a Yorkshire Terrier called Amy, who Joyce describes as their "third sibling".
She said one of their favourite things to do was take Amy for afternoon walks with their mum and chat, or go for dinner with their step-dad.
Joyce said although Paul was shy he never feared judgement because he never judged others. "He could connect with people. When he met them he knew who they were and understood them.
He knew himself and he was at peace with himself and that really showed when he was around anyone.
"Whenever you were with him you felt you could be completely natural."
Paul's tight-knit family say he was one of their "great teachers". Joyce said the family have a "deep, deep empty space" without him which they will never fill. She said they missed him "100 per cent, all the time".
"You might just learn to live with that emptiness because there is no other way. Even as a way of honouring him, we have to go on," she said.
But the family have found comfort knowing Paul was happy. "What's important in life... he never had anything missing, whether it's love, understanding or somebody listening to him.
"We all have crosses we have to carry, but he was 100 per cent happy and healthy in his spirit and his soul.
"And he made us be 100 per cent happy and healthy spiritually. He was a really loved person and he loved back."
School in red tribute
PAUL'S school turned red for the day to raise money for a defibrillator for the school and funds for the British Heart Foundation in his memory.
Thomas More Catholic School are also raising money for a plaque for Paul and Years 7, 8 and 9 seven, eight and nine and teachers were sponsored to come to school dressed in red. The school also held a bake sale and offered nail painting.
Head teacher Margaret Mulchrone said Paul was a "lovely, lovely boy" who touched many people.
"It's actually quite heartbreaking to talk about it," she said. "He was quiet and unassuming, everybody really loved him. He had a really cheeky side to him but he was a really serious, committed student.
"In terms of living life every day because we've only got today, he did that, and he did that without being precious about himself. He never took time off when he didn't need to."
Abdul Chowdry, head of sixth form at Thomas More, said Paul was an "inspiration" to the school. He added: "When he first came he had a whole wodge of papers in a file because of his heart problems. We went to the PE teacher and said just be careful when he comes in. But when he came into the next lesson he was dressed for PE and said 'I'm ready for football, sir'.
"Everybody was worried about him and he'd have a nice smile on his face. He had a very humorous side to him as well and a twinkle in his smile."
Ms Mulchrone said Paul's death has been a huge loss to the school, who have offered counselling to students.
"He was really loved," she said.
'A superhero friend who was always inspiring pals'
PAUL'S school friends said the comic book fan who read about his Marvel idols was a superhero himself.
Albert Morris, one of Paul's best friends, used to go to the Forbidden Planet comic ship in Croydon with him to get their fix of X-Men, Spiderman Spider-Man and the Avengers, as well as play games.
"It's not often somebody likes those kind of things so it was special having someone to share it with," said the 16-year-old. "He was inspiring. He would always try and make sure he could come to school whenever he could despite any problems.
"We read about superheroes and he was like a superhero himself because he would try to carry on every day no matter what."
Another friend, Dharumir Maharaj, 17, said Paul was "very, very thoughtful". He said: "There was one geography lesson where the teacher was telling him off for not doing his homework and people were laughing because he had his homework in his hand.
"Because he was so quiet he didn't want to say anything until the end of all the drama."
And he said he was a great, trustworthy friend.
"He was someone you could really trust ," he said. "You could tell him anything and it wouldn't leak out."
Dave Murugan, 16, added: "He was very helpful to everyone around him and if you didn't know something he would help you with it. He always had a joke to tell."
