CRYSTAL Palace defender Brede Hangeland was bizarrely told to use CHEESE to cure an injury problem in his final days at Fulham last season.
Eccentric then-Fulham boss Felix Magath, sacked by the club last week, brought a whole new meaning to the idea of Cottage Cheese when he told the Scandinavian defender to soak a block of cheddar in alcohol and leave it on his injured thigh overnight.
Hangeland, perhaps unsurprisingly, left Craven Cottage in the summer while, equally inevitably, Magath has now been shown the door by Fulham.
With the big centre back out of favour at present, let's hope Neil Warnock isn't getting his Stinking Bishop ready for a repeat dose of the therap-brie.
Hangeland, for his part, will hope to return to the Palace squad for Saturday's game against (red) Leicester.
If he doesn't get back in the side soon though, the 33-year-old Norwegian might have to launch into a burst of that Englebert Humperdink classic, Cheese Release Me.
That'll do for the cheese puns now...