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YUMMY MUMMY: An open letter to the Keyboard Warriors

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OUR columnist Veronica Madden (aka: Wannabe Yummy) has taken some stick in recent weeks, from some of the more critical readers of the Advertiser website.

Here, she writes an open letter, in response to the barbs…

IN THE spirit of motherliness and with love , I write this column in tribute to the tireless effort some online readers have put into slating me recently.

Now alongside writing this column, believe it or not, writing open letters is not my main profession.. But here goes it.

As in the main you hide behind 'uber cool' handle names, I shall collectively address you as brave 'Keyboard Warriors' - hopefully this is to your liking.

You are correct.

Yes, I am not in fact a journalist or a scholar. Nor so far as I am aware have ever claimed to be. My grammar can be appalling I can only justify this by the fact that I write so late at night. Alongside, being pretty thick obviously.

Once upon a time I may have dreamt of a glamorous career in journalism. Exposing the bad, highlighting the good, all that jazz. I could have even been good at it, aside from my illiteracy I was given a talent from birth. I could draw blood from a stone - let alone inner secrets from humans; frankly I'm pretty damn amazing.

Alas it was not to be. That boat passed when I decided education would not pave my way and earning money would. Am I ashamed that I didn't stick to my books? No way. Had I done so who knows what other individual you talented Keyboard Warriors would have filled your time complaining about and insulting.

In fact, you could say thanks to my thick yummy skin (read into that what you will) I may have actually saved some other poor more vulnerable soul the discomfort of your attacks.

I'll be honest, reading through the comments did make me feel a little upset - disheartened even.

Haha, but not for the reasons you brave Keyboard Warriors would have liked.

The venom towards my physical appearance made me laugh, seriously, I believe yumminess lies in the eye of the beholder.

Thankfully not just yours.

The fact that as a (relatively) 'normal' woman I had done staged photographs four months after giving birth to my youngest, not looking very comfortable, not beautiful and probably holding an expression easily confused with being in pain is something I myself laughed at as soon as I saw the proofs. But you know what, I told the paper to go ahead and use them. Taking myself too seriously would make for a pretty dull existence in my opinion

Sorry I'm forgetting myself - you Keyboard Warriors couldn't care less about my opinion. Yet you're still intent on reading my column?

Bizarre.

There are plenty of things I don't like to see/read/watch or associate myself with so amazingly I make the massive decision.......not to.

Lucky for you Warriors, something I do like (a guilty pleasure) is debating with the small minded. I love watching foolish, unfulfilled, ill-informed individuals dig themselves into a hole. Eventually they will either need my help to get out or disappear down their dark holes for eternity.

So just to reassure you wonderful Keyboard Warriors, your impact on me is marked. I think of you often, I actually worry.

I worry that if it wasn't me who would it be? My daughter? Someone else's daughter? Or simply someone else online that you have decided shouldn't have oxygen or should crawl away and die.

I warn my children about people like you.

I dissuade my friends from talking to people like you.

And openly, above all, I question people like you.

I ask why you don't contribute something better to your community paper.

I ponder how your angry fingers must ache from all that effort.

If hating me has become your hobby, I hope you enjoy it as much as I do when I'm laughing with my real life friends at the intensity of your distain.

I know your fingers are twitching so I will leave it there. Be strong Keyboard Warriors, and maybe next week just give my column a miss.

Xxx

YUMMY MUMMY: An open letter to the Keyboard Warriors


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